Vernal Equinox

Monday, June 19, 2006


Two weekends ago I was a bridesmaid. This was exactly ten years and one week after I married.

My preparation for the big day bordered on hilarity. I can remember enough to know that I used fewer chemicals on my own wedding day. Three nights of intense tanning (bottle), whitening, plucking and miscellaneous beautifying. I re-pierced my ears, painted nails, and searched for the right undergarments. Ew attended the wedding, his eyes looked as big as saucers when he first saw me. He asked, "What's that dress for?" When I got home El giggled like crazy and touched my "up-do" over and over.

In all seriousness, I was completely honored to be a part of their momentous occasion. It took me back in time to the day I stood on that very same stage. To watch them so filled with hope and promise. All human faults put humbly aside and HUGE promises made with quivering hands and voices. Parents and family and friends praying in support. It helped me remember the pure promises I made and wonder how well I keep them.

When I attend an event like this I feel like I am teetering on the fence of time. One half of me thinks back to my own wedding, graduation, or first job. How I can relate to the excitement of leaving for my Honeymoon and our first apartment. But, the other half of me thinks my son walking down that aisle - kissing another woman! I cried incessantly when the father of the bride choked up. I still cry thinking about the groom's tribute to his own mom who has passed. Time is not standing still.

I dedicate one of their songs (Over the Rhine songs are always our songs) to my groom.

You're my water
You're my wine
You're my whisky
From time to time

You're the hunger
On my bones
All the nights
I sleep alone

Sweet intoxication
When your words
Wash over me
Whether or not
Your lips move
You speak to me

Like an ocean
Without waves
You're the movement
That I crave

And in that motion
I long to drown
And be lost not to be found

Friday, May 05, 2006

Why me?

I am trying not to make more of this than it is. I have been subpeona'd for deposition. A week from today I have to sit in front of more attorneys than I am comfortable with and try to remember ancient history. I used to work in corporate America - quite happily and quite successfully. Now, 500,000 diapers later, I can't remember a single thing about that previous life. Just when I have completely forgotten everything about that life I have to go in and swear to tell the truth about all the little details. I am sure they will hear this a few times..."I don't remember."

Tuesday, April 18, 2006


“I don’t know who else to be
More and more I’m secretly just me.”

Over the Rhine from the song Goodbye (This is not Goodbye)

I recently heard it said that everyone is attracted to people who aren’t perfect and allow their vulnerability to show. So why do I try to put up the front of having it all together?

Should I start confessing…

Monday, October 17, 2005

Highlights of catering

Every now and then I work for a catering company to supplement our income. Here are the highlights.

8+ hours on your feet dressed like a penguin.

A handful of workers who thought I was in college. I figured it out…these are my work clothes…there are no baby slobber marks on my shoulders.

Cleaning up after hundreds of people who know that someone is getting paid to clean up after them. Not yet sure which cleanup job is grosser….these people or toddler/baby/dog combo.

In conversation with the guests…What is this? (Person pointing to food item on plate or buffet)
What I am thinking…Food.
What I say…that is our famous guirre (spelling) mushroom and goat cheese tart.
Or another time…that is one of our specialties, one of twenty kinds of hummus.
I am thinking…Please only ask about the one I know. I can only remember the name of the red one, roasted red pepper hummus.

Where is the bathroom?
What I am thinking…this I know, I was just there compulsively washing your germs off my hands. Then I hid out for a 10 minute break. Did you see me??
What I say…Over there.

The bosses:
There is always one really mean supervisor. He barks things at you like, “Don’t talk in the kitchen.” “There are only two people here who out-rank me.” “The asparagus pointed to 5 o’clock!” “Have fun tonight and SMILE.”

Here’s a question that offends a chef…”Do we have any salt & pepper? Someone is asking for it.”

Here’s another one that doesn’t win you any points with a chef…What is this? (me pointing to food item on plate or buffet)

The co-workers:
One lady was on buffet duty while I was on bussing duty. She stopped me and asked me to get her a beer from the bar. I was thinking…you have to be kidding me if you think I am going to sneak you a beer. Last time I checked we don’t get to throw back a cold one on the clock and on the clients tab. I said, “I’ll watch the buffet for you.” I spotted her later sitting in a hidden corner drinking a longneck.

After knowing one guy for approximately 20 minutes he started every other sentence with, “Don’t tell anyone, but….” He proceeded to tell me everything personal including a skin condition and his salary. Which I tried to stop him (this is one of my major pet peeves – people talking salary)

I noticed one of the younger girls was talking a lot to a guest. I asked her about it. She was giddy, he was totally hitting on her and she was loving it. Later, she was pretty bummed because he had a bald spot. I ask, “How old is he?” 42. “How old are you?” 18.

Having said all that, it is a great way to earn a little cash to pay for the Molly’s leg!

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Float like a butterfly, sink like a rock

Last night on PBS I caught a few minutes of a program on Leonardo da Vinci. In the show, present day craftsmen, engineers and scientists were building models of things that he designed, but never built. The premise was that he was so brilliant that his mind was always swimming with ideas and he couldn’t stop to focus on following through with many of his ideas.

This show highlighted two complementary human characteristics. There are those with the ideas and those who execute. Every partnership needs both. You know my partner and me…I will give you one guess who is the idea man and then who works out the details.

Our annual Christmas card is the perfect example. This card is good for at least one fight per year. After 10 years of marriage, the drill goes like this…Forrest comes up with the brilliant idea, creates it, chooses colors and photos, and then runs it by me (this is where I insist we insert a bible verse). Then he gives me 100 copies of it.

Forrest and I were talking about this very phenomenon a week or so ago (after I did the SS outline, then he added the catchy one liners). He said I was the rock and he was the butterfly who lands on the rock. He really meant to be nice, but it was less than complimentary, unless you’re a geologist.

It just comes down to teamwork. After almost 10 years I am realizing that we are pretty good at teamwork and that most of the time the end product is seamless. (I always get lots of compliments on the Christmas card, which I graciously accept!)

Back to PBS – I don’t know Leo’s personal life, but maybe he just needed a good executer in his life. According to the show, he may have been the first in flight.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Summer Results

I just bought my first bag of mellowcreme pumpkins. I thought it would be a good time to review the summer.

1 movie viewed in the theater (see previous post)
10 or more times to the swimming pool
*1 sunburn
*100 new freckles
*2 new freckles for Goose
1 toddler potty trained
*lots of candy and gum awarded
*36 pairs of underwear purchased to avoid daily laundry
*2 pairs of underwear better off just thrown away
*3 times gone #1 on a tree
2 memorized bible verses (both for Sunbeams) – a summer goal unreached
1 trip to the Lake
1 trip to Arkansas
*1 trip to Silver Dollar City
lots of money on gas
weekly/bi-weekly late-night walks with neighbor
1 time played tennis
1 show at Starlight
1 night of fireworks
20 garage sales
*spent more that the $100 earned at our garage sale in the spring
$325 earned
*2 catering events worked
*2 focus groups
5 adult books read
50 kid books read (multiple times)
*$12 in fines at the JOCO Library (now borrowing from KCMO libraries)
2 haircuts (one Great Clips and one sister)
6 occasions to which I have worn shoes other than Reef flips flops
90 (approx) visits to a park
*20 picnics included
25 times filled up plastic swimming pool and later dipped water out of the sandbox
5 tomatoes grown and eaten so far
16 green peppers grown so far
500,000 times told Goose not to hit, kick, push, bite, or spit on his brother
500,001 times received a kiss, hug or smile from Goose
500,001 times received a smile and sweet look from Turkey
1 nine year anniversary
12 or more root beer floats
5 posts to my site

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Forget summer blockbusters and see....


This is such a fun movie. Documentary of middle-schoolers in NYC learning and competing in ballroom dancing! It is a crack-up - 12 & 13 year olds are naturally funny. Stiff competition and hard work and a heart warmer at the end! Tom-Kat are complete duds compared to these guys!

If anyone is up for seeing Murderball or the penguin movie call me! I am not kidding - these two look great!

Growing Up

On Saturday we went to Lawrence to visit old friends. This couple was our first couple friend set. We have known them for over 10 years now, although it has been a while since we have spent time together. We had a great time! This couple is cool. Studied sculpture and painting at school. Into travel and very faith based. Forrest and I had a great realization on the way home - we are in good company. Here is what I mean...they have 2 kids their house was messy, like ours. They have let some things slack, like us. They have not been great at keeping up with friends, like us sometimes. They are ready for a mini-van....NOT QUITE like us!!! It was interesting and fun to see the stark contrast in them after several years. For me, going through some of the same changes, the daily grind is much more dramatic. I am learning how to grow up and let go of the ideals I created too far in advance and without a clue!

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Dear Sam's Club Comment Box

As a patron and as a business school graduate I would like to give a couple of suggestions to promote efficiency and customer satisfaction. there any possible way to allow customers to enter and exit the store within the same zip code? Hauling two kids, numerous unbagged items, and a cart the size of an automobile is not easy when you have to walk up to 20 miles roundtrip.

Second...there is a bottleneck at the exit point. While I appreciate the safety feature of an employee cross-checking items and denoting a match with a yellow highlighter, it can be a tedious wait. The last couple of visits I pinpointed a root cause of this slow down. The cross-checker takes a moment, with me and with others, she turns back to her table, turns the receipt over and draws smiley faces...(circle, eye, eye, nose, smile) equivalent to the number of children present. Honestly.....just smile and say hi!! The kids will never lay eyes on that artwork! Save everyone 30 seconds and keep things flowing.

And lastly, Where are the creme puffs? I haven't had one in a while.

Your loyal customer.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Beat by the Heat

This weekend we discovered the one factor that can slow down our neighbors. Orange-ozone alert weather (at least that's what I think Joel Lauria called it). Until this weekend, they have spent endless time and energy devoted to beautification of thier home - mostly outside. It has been driving me nuts! We used to have awesome neighbors - lots of kids, lots of plastic, lots of fun....and by comparison we looked great! Now we have neat and tidy and rich neighbors. They put the kids bikes in the garage EVERY night. They hang dry the slip-n-slide (so it doesn't kill the grass). They put in cedar chips in the back of the back yard!!!! I am talking a couple hundred bucks worth!!! They had their trees trimmed when baby #3 was 2 weeks old!!! But this weekend...with a hand-crafted new deck (on our side) in full swing...they were beat by the heat!!!! Score one for the good guys with all the weeds!!!!

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

I am writing this under coercion.

My first post was a fleeting moment of confidence and curiosity. After that I just started to feel geeky about the whole online journal thing. I feel that claiming a spot in cyberspace in my name makes the bold assumption that I have something to say, and furthermore that someone cares. (Please no one reply with encouragement!) But, tonight I try again. This will at least get the Mister cooled down on offering “post” ideas at such a frequent rate.

I just finished a book. I am going through the post-book depression. I miss them. I am still thinking about my characters and their life circumstances. Why did she do that? Did the father ever regret his life choices? Am I ready to start a new book and move on with my life?

Any book recommendations?

Monday, May 09, 2005

Reading the comics

Every Sunday we get a copy of the paper from the corner box. We missed one Sunday, probably couldn't come up with $1.25, and the whole week was slightly out of sync. My husband has his order of priorities...Best Buy circular, Circuit City circular, Target...... etc. My first priority is coupons, then Parade magazine, then the comics. Sometimes around Wednesday I hit the front page. Even the comics page has an established order of priority that changes with life. When I was younger it started with Garfield and Snoopy. I picked Snoopy back up in adulthood when I just had a beagle to dote over. More recently, I got a kick out of Dilbert. It used to provide some insight into my daily life - corporate/office happenings. Now I go straight for Marvin - boy and dog interaction. And I confess...often hitting Baby Blues and Family Circle - ahh touching.... I can't imagine the day I go for Zits. And I hope Cathy never makes the regular circuit. I am still not sure what my Dad loved about Wizard of Id, but I will read it until I get it. And someone stop me if I ever start reading Brenda Starr!